In the Spirit
by Admiral
Summary: Can a god get the Spirit of Christmas?


**Disclaimer**: _Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money has changed hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author._

* * *

**"In The Spirit"**

**By Darrin A. Colbourne**

Little Tommy Maysbridge had it all planned. He was hidden in a dark little corner of the sitting room, staking out the Christmas tree and the fireplace as he munched on tea cakes and sipped egg nog. He had borrowed his Dad's camcorder (No, he didn't ask, but one little transgression like that couldn't possibly earn him a stocking full of coal) and set it up to record the whole room. A tray of scones and milk had been set out on the coffee table, all set to lure the big guy into the perfect position. The elder Maysbridges were sound asleep in the master bedroom, completely oblivious to the young one's activities (or so he assumed. They were actually all set to collect what they expected to be a sleeping child after they finished the little "party" they were having in their room). Tonight was the night he would make history. He was going to catch Father Christmas in the act! Tommy was excited! He was giddy with anticipation, knowing that he had thought of everything!

Well, almost everything.

He certainly hadn't thought he'd hear the high-pitched electronic whine that suddenly assaulted his precious ears, or thought he'd see the huge set of black rings that magically emerged from the ceiling and crashed to the floor, upsetting the coffee table and the snacks and assembling with the sound of gears grinding in a hollow machine. But he did see and hear these things, as well as the blue beam of light that shone down through the rings. Soon the light left, then the rings left, and a lone figure was standing in the center of the room. Tommy wasn't sure who it was, but he was certain of one thing:

It wasn't Father Christmas.

The figure looked like one of the ancient Egyptian guys from "The Mummy". He was tall and dark-skinned, dressed in armor and metal boots. His muscles rippled as he scanned the room, and Tommy could just make out the X-shaped wound in his belly.

He was carrying a bag, however. He reached into it as Tommy watched and pulled out a present. It was wrapped in black wrapping and gold ribbon. The man was about to place it under the tree when he spotted the boy in the corner.

Tommy shivered in fear as the man approached. The figure seemed to examine him for a moment, then looked at the gift. Sweet as you please, he handed the boy the gift. Tommy took it reluctantly and examined it. In the center of the golden bow at the top there was a wax seal, with a design Tommy didn't recognize.

Satisfied that his task was complete, the man backed away and returned to the center of the room. He touched a jewel on his gauntlet. The rings returned, along with the noise and the light, and after a few seconds he was gone.

Tommy was frozen for a moment, then jumped up. "MUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMM-YYYYYYYYYY!!!!" He screamed as he bolted for the stairs, his thoughts in turmoil! "Jolly old Elf" His arse! The elder Maysbridges had some explaining to do!

* * *

Across the Atlantic, an hour later, United States Air Force Colonel Jonathan "Jack" O'Neill was entering a facility that he had assumed he was done with for the holiday weekend. Stargate Command had already taken care of the office Christmas Party and all non-essential personnel had been kicked loose for some well-deserved leave. O'Neill was looking forward to getting in some last-minute shopping and spending a quiet yuletide at home.

That was before he'd gotten the recall message on his cell phone. Now he found himself stepping off the elevator and into an SGC that was teeming with activity. Sirens wailed and lights flashed as the facility buzzed on alert, and it looked like everyone had been recalled. He passed technicians and Security troops traveling en masse as he made his way to the nerve center of the facility, the Stargate Control Room.

When he got there, he wasn't surprised to see that he was the last to arrive. General George Hammond was there and still in his uniform--And they say I never relax, O'Neill thought--along with Teal'c, Major Samantha Carter, Doctor Daniel Jackson and the full Control Room technical crew. Most of the others were in various modes of dress, ranging from civilian to military. The real surprise was what Carter was wearing. She was decked out in a long, slinky black evening dress and stole, with expensive looking jewelry and a new hairstyle. O'Neill snuck an appreciative look as he approached.

"I thought tracking Santa Claus was the job of the guys upstairs." O'Neill said, referring to NORAD. Teal'c, Hammond and Jackson turned to see him enter. Carter glanced back, but was too involved in the crisis and went back to her status boards.

"I hope that's all we're tracking." Hammond said, worry plain in his voice.

"What's going on?" O'Neill said.

"Major Carter can explain it better than I can, but starting around Midnight, Western Pacific Time, indicators started popping up that pointed to a massive Gould operation being conducted on Earth."

O'Neill's eyes popped a little at that. "'Massive Gould Operation'? Like how 'Massive'?"

"Global." Hammond said, and a chill went down the Colonel's spine.

"Global?? As in 'Invasion' global?"

"That is unlikely, O'Neill." Teal'c said. "If the Goa'uld were mounting an invasion of this world there would be no doubt as to what was happening. There would be mass destruction and panic reported everywhere, and this facility would be destroyed first."

"It's more likely that this is some kind of reconnaissance-in-force," Hammond said, "something designed to test how we'd react to multiple small incursions in other parts of the world."

"It will be our part of the world soon, General." Carter chimed in, still watching her displays. "The pattern just started up West of Greenwich, England. That time zone isn't as heavily populated. Soon their area of operation will be the Atlantic, and the densest population there is on Iceland."

"In that case, there'll probably be a lull in contacts." Hammond said. "Can you spare a minute to bring Colonel O'Neill up to speed?"

"Yes, Sir." Carter said, then turned in her chair to face O'Neill. The Colonel had just enough time to note how nice she looked made-up before she began. "Around 0600 our time our skeleton watch here began to detect several minute seismic anomalies dotted around Northeast and Southeast Asia, including Siberia, The Kamchatka Peninsula and The Solomon Islands."

"I'm guessing we're not just talking about a normal Earthquake?" O'Neill said.

"No, sir. Too widespread, and there's too many different events."

"Well, didn't we fine-tune the seismographs to look for signs that someone else might be using a Stargate? Do you think the Russians are back in the Deep Space Exploration business?"

"Not likely. Even if you discount the political fallout from their last attempt to use their 'Gate, that's not what we're seeing. The opening of a wormhole would register as one, big, sharp tremor on our refined sensors. What we're picking up are lots of tiny ones, so small that without the upgrade we might not have picked them up at all."

"So, we're not picking up a standard-sized wormhole, we're picking up lots of bite-sized ones?"

"Yes, sir. Each event registers as a wave similar in length and duration to that created by a Stargate opening, only at a much smaller magnitude. And it's not limited to Russia. After about an hour the events in that first region died down, then they started further East. That's when we started recalling people. Each of the events seems to be followed by an echo event, as if what happens in each area happens twice in rapid succession."

"How many 'events' are we talking about?"

"Thousands the first hour, Millions the next."

"Excuse me?!!"

"And it's not done yet. It's been spreading East hour by hour, multiplying in intensity with each iteration." Carter noticed O'Neill's face grimace at that. "Every time it starts, it gets bigger and more complex."

"So somebody out there is using a whole bunch of little Stargates to...wait, there are little Stargates?!" He remembered just a second before Teal'c reminded him.

"Transport Rings, O'Neill."

"Transport Rings." He repeated, and his blood ran cold. "Are there any Gould Motherships in orbit?"

"NORAD hasn't tracked anything," Hammond said, "neither has Space Command, or NASA's Deep Space Network, but that could just mean that the ships are operating in stealth, or out of range of our tracking systems."

"They are most likely operating in stealth, General Hammond." Teal'c said. "To make so many transports in such close proximity with precision requires that the transporting platforms stay close to the target area."

"But what are they doing?" O'Neill said. "They're just transporting in and...transporting out, millions of times? Why?"

"It could be just what General Hammond said." Carter said. "Reconnaissance-in-force. Maybe they want to see how many Jaffa they can put on the globe at once without using the Stargate, and how fast they can be withdrawn if things go south."

"The scary part is where they're landing." Daniel Jackson said, indicating a map that displayed the clusters of events around the world. "I mean, look at all these areas. They're mostly metropolitan or suburban population centers. They're transporting down smack in the middle of their sworn enemies."

"And not doing anything else." O'Neill said. "And they've been doing this all day? Every hour?"

"Yes, sir." Carter said. "They're following Midnight around the globe, time zone by time zone. It started East of the International Dateline, with Eastern Russian and the Pacific Rim, and has progressed across Europe, Asia and Africa as Midnight has hit each new zone. They've apparently completed their work in Mainland Europe and the UK, and past Iceland they have no place else to land for the next few hours, until Midnight hits Greenland."

"Then Canada." Jackson said.

"And New York." O'Neill said. "I get the picture. Still, even if it's Twelve straight up when they hit, I can't believe nobody is seeing them when they appear."

"Some people did see them." A new voice said. O'Neill turned to see Major Davis walk in. Like O'Neill, Carter and Jackson, Davis was in civilian clothes, presumably for holiday plans of his own. He gave a stack of papers to Hammond, then continued with O'Neill. "CIA and NSA have been monitoring foreign communiques and news agencies, and we have our contacts with Interpol and foreign national police forces keeping us apprised of any rise in unusual police reports or strange sightings. Phones have been ringing off the hook in all the major cities, Tokyo, New Dehli, Cairo, Moscow, Rome, Paris and on and on, with people calling to report strange noises in their homes, disruptions of their houses, mysterious men in their living rooms and--here's the kicker-- 'rapid showers of light blue shooting stars'. As you know, Colonel, transport ring energies--"

"'Are visible to the naked eye', I know." O'Neill said. "So we have witnesses that are seeing the transports?"

"All of the transports. There are some who say they were falling, others were sure that the shooting stars were flying up into the sky."

"But no one knows what's going on, what the people transporting down are doing?"

Davis hesitated for a moment. "Actually...there are a few reports that strange packages have been left in the homes that were invaded. A few people reported that...presents that they didn't recognize were left under their Christmas trees."

The whole control room went silent at that. Everyone gave Davis strange looks. O'Neill finally broke the silence.

"Wait...you're saying that we're dealing with, what...Santa Gould?"

"I don't know what's going on, sir. I can only report what we're getting from our sources. Apparently people in several of the affected cities have brought in strange looking gifts that they claim they don't recognize. Those gifts are being analyzed as we speak."

"Are the police afraid they'll explode?" Jackson asked, seriously.

"Oh, don't think so small, Danny." O'Neill said. "Maybe they play 'Pop Goes the Weasel' and the kid gets a Snake through the neck."

"'Happy Holiday'." Carter muttered at the thought.

"Is there a way we can get our hands on one of these gifts?" Hammond said.

"Actually, sir, we'll have all of them that you'll need after Midnight." Carter said. "The Goa'uld running this show will have to hit our time zone eventually."

Hammond thought about it a moment, then said to Davis: "Contact local Law Enforcement Agencies and let them know that we'd like to take a look at any strange presents that they might get tonight. Give them the usual 'National Security' cover stories." He spoke to everyone else when Davis left. "As of now this facility is on Full Alert. We'll lockdown after everyone gets back here and stay prepared for any eventuality until this crisis is passed. I want all SG teams still on base ready to mount reconnaissance missions through the 'Gate. That means we're spending Christmas here, people. Let's make the best of it."

"Ho, ho, ho." O'Neill muttered as all non-essential personnel filed out of the control room. Carter lingered a moment to give instructions to the technicians monitoring the "invasion". O'Neill waited for her, and they went off to get ready together.

"That's some outfit you're wearing." O'Neill said quietly. "Looks good on you."

"Thanks." Carter said. "Too bad I won't get to use it. I was on my way to a party when I got called back."

O'Neill looked at her. She was staring straight ahead, but he could see a smile on her face. It was a wistful one, as if she were imagining whatever fun she'd planned to have. It was odd. For a second there, the disappointment in the smile was replaced with a hint of mischief.

"A party?" O'Neill said, suddenly very curious about details. She turned her head to him.

"Just a small get-together. Some close friends." She said.

"Ah." He said. Before he could press further, Doctor Janet Frazier came trotting up.

"What the hell's going on?" She asked. O'Neill was too stunned to answer immediately. Dr. Frazier's figure was poured into a slim, silky cobalt-blue evening gown, which accentuated a gorgeous figure that she usually managed to hide under her work blues and lab coat. She was decked out in even more glittery jewelry than Carter was wearing, and her hair, worn up in a playful style, framed a face made up to stop men dead in their tracks. It had worked well on O'Neill.

_So that's what she looks like when she's not jabbing me with needles,_ the Colonel thought.

"Strange happenings, may be Goa'uld, same ol' same ol'." Carter said. "We'll fill you in."

"Don't they take any days off?" Frazier sighed.

"Uh, Doc?" O'Neill said, finally finding his voice. "That dress is...wow!"

Frazier blushed a little as she smiled. "Thank you, Colonel. I was on my way to a party."

With that, her eyes met Carter's, then both women got that disappointed look on their faces. Frazier raised her eyebrows, Carter shrugged, and then they walked off with their heads bowed a little, leaving behind a very confused Colonel O'Neill.

_That's gotta be some kinda party_, O'Neill thought.

* * *

"Thirty seconds." Carter's voice said over the PA. She was in the control room monitoring the situation and counting down till Midnight. The ten SG teams still on-world, including SG-1, were dressed in Air Force coveralls, ready to gear up for a mission through the 'Gate at a moment's notice. There was now a standing security watch in the 'Gate Room, manned by a squad of security troops armed to the teeth. Just to be completely sure, the iris was now closed, and would remain that way until further notice.

The hours had gone by exactly as everyone expected. Once Midnight began crossing highly populated areas the transports started anew, covering Greenland, Newfoundland, Montreal, Montpelier, the Eastern Seaboard. New York city got an exceptionally heavy dose of transits, so much so that the start of transports in the next time zone was delayed a few minutes. They did commence, however, registering as larger spikes on the SGC's instruments.

"Midnight." Carter said over the PA. SG-1 and General Hammond were with her and the technicians in the control room. Long minutes passed with nothing happening.

"It's starting!" A technician said. Transports were beginning to register all over the time zone, from Northern Canada to South America. It was fascinating to watch, to see it happening so close and know that there was little that could be done to stop it.

As the hour dragged on the transports got closer and closer to the SCG. "They're starting to come down in Cheyenne!" Carter said, drawing everyone's attention to one of the monitors.

NORAD had set up a camera to watch the nearby city of Cheyenne, Wyoming, and was providing the feed to the SGC. Sure enough, there were literally rainfalls of transport beams, heading down and up, cascading around the city.

"That's actually kinda cool." O'Neill said. Carter simply nodded, her eyes riveted to the picture.

The hour was up sooner than everyone realized. Despite a few straggling transports the activity in the Mountain time zone had pretty much ceased by the time the clocks and watches in the facility hit One, A.M. Six minutes later the transports started in the West. Davis came into control a minute after that. "We're already getting reports." He said. "Right now it's just lots of phone calls to report noises and ask what's going on. No reports of anyone hurt or injured or taken."

"That's good news." Jackson said.

"So far." O'Neill said. He was going to elaborate when Frazier rushed into the room.

"You're not going to believe this." She said. "I just got a call from my sitter on my cell. She said she heard a strange noise at my place, and saw a bright light in the living room when she went to investigate. Whatever caused it was gone when she got down there."

"Did she find any strange gifts?" Hammond asked.

"I asked her. She said she found one wrapped in black and gold....for Cassie."

Hammond turned to a technician. "Get a HAZMAT team to Dr. Frazier's home to recover that package, now!"

* * *

Carter rubbed her eyes. She'd been at it for hours in her lab, examining the still unwrapped present with every electronic device she had at her disposal. Neither Jackson nor Teal'c had recognized the seal at the top of the bow, so they had no way of knowing which of their "Snake" friends was playing this particularly trick on Earth.

The rest of SG-1 was in the lab with her, showing various stages of fatigue. O'Neill was napping, while Teal'c meditated. Jackson was trying to stay awake with Carter, but even he nodded off now and again.

"I can't detect anything dangerous." Carter said. "I can't detect anything, period."

Jackson looked over at her sleepily. "Why not try an old-fashioned method?"

"What?" Carter said.

"Open it. It _is_ Christmas."

Carter regarded the present again as Jackson roused himself and walked over. He looked over her shoulder as she pulled the item close. Carefully, she pulled off the bow, which separated the ribbon and allowed it to fall aside. She then delicately began to remove the black wrapping. Inside was a gold box. She gently lifted off the cover of the box, hoping nothing exploded into her face. Both she and Jackson stared in shock at what was inside.

It was a statuette on a base, depicting a beautiful woman in ancient clothing, standing tall and proud. The figure was jet black, like the wrapping, and her clothes and trimmings were all gold.

"Nubian." Jackson said. "She's a Nubian, a tribal dancer."

"There's a button." Carter said, reaching toward a small button on the base. After a moment's hesitation, she touched it.

The soft sounds of music not heard on Earth for millennia filled the room, rousing O'Neill and Teal'c. They walked over to Jackson and Carter and looked over their shoulders at a fascinating sight. The Nubian statuette was dancing in the air just centimeters above the base, gyrating to the music. The performance lasted for a full minute. When it was done, the statuette came to rest in the exact position it had been in before.

"No way." O'Neill said. "It's a music box?"

"Apparently just that, Jack." Jackson said.

"So the presents," Carter said, "are all just presents. But who...?"

Her question was interrupted by the sound of alarms. "Unscheduled Off-world Activation!" A voice on the PA said. SG-1 immediately rushed out of the lab.

Seconds later, they filed into the 'Gate Room and were met by Hammond, Davis and Frazier. The Security team had M-16s pointed at the Stargate, as well as a big .50 cal. machine gun. The Stargate was busy moving as someone dialed in. When it was done, the wormhole opened with it's characteristic Whoosh!

"Receiving a signal." The technician announced.

"Pipe it through." Hammond called up.

Everyone jumped a little when a Goa'uld voice spoke. "--repeat: I wish only a peaceful dialogue. Please open your iris and allow my servants and I safe passage and I will explain myself."

Hammond looked to O'Neill, who simply looked back and shrugged. After a moment, Hammond called up: "Open the iris."

The iris slid open, revealing the shimmering event horizon. Nothing happened for a minute or two, then a Jaffa stepped through and stood on the ramp. The security force had their weapons trained on him in an instant.

"Stand down." O'Neill called out. After a close inspection, he realized something unusual: the Jaffa was unarmed.

Satisfied that he was in no danger, the strange Jaffa pulled a device out of his armor and faced back into the 'Gate. He depressed a switch, stood still for a moment, then moved off to stand against one of the rails on the ramp. Seconds later, three more Jaffa came through and took flanking positions on the rails as well. They bowed their heads when they were in position, anticipating the arrival of their master. She arrived soon after, resplendent in ancient Egyptian dress. She was tall, and had a Spanish look to her features. The 'Gate finally shut down as she descended the ramp.

Halfway down she bowed her head to the assembled company. "Season's Greetings, SGC." She said. "I am Bahet."

Recognition flashed across Jackson's face. "Bahet. Okay, I know that name. Goddess of wealth and abundance."

Bahet smiled sheepishly. "I have been called that, yes."

"I remember the name as well, Daniel Jackson." Teal'c said. "Though I have never encountered her forces in battle. It is said that Bahet is a recluse, who hordes her wealth in a distant corner of the universe and shuns the glory of her fellow Goa'uld."

Bahet frowned at hearing that. "I was shunned by my fellow System Lords because I refused to use the violent, oppressive tactics they use to rule their domains. My methods are more benevolent. I allow my subjects self-determination, their own governments. My Jaffa are all volunteers. I pay my subjects well for the services they provide me, and rule according to a system of laws."

"That's definitely...different, for a Snake." O'Neill said. Bahet smiled again.

"It is, and it is also a source consternation among my fellows, because it encourages their subjects to make efforts to flee to my worlds. Rumors have been spread about me throughout the galaxy, that I am evil, or dead, or of all things a myth, all in an effort to discourage the easily frightened. For the more determined...there is instant death. I can see you are skeptical. If you'd like, you may send SG-1 to my homeworld so that they may make the determination for themselves."

"I'll consider it." Hammond said. "If your disagreement with their methods is so profound..."

"Why not simply try to stop them? Because my forces are for defensive purposes only. I will not engage in any plot to overthrow my people by force. However, I am more than willing to provide aid and supplies to others who are willing to fight, such as the Tok'Ra. I am here to offer similar aid to you."

"And the transports?" Carter said. "The gifts?"

"A sign of my goodwill. I got the idea from a Tau'Ri myth that I read once. I assumed it had been based on the actions of another benevolent Goa'uld, one that Ra had put to death or exiled. I decided to attempt to continue his work, to show that I was no threat to you. I regret that I could only provide gifts for the children of your world. I only had a year to prepare, and even my vast resources have limits, but the toys were made by some of the finest artisans in my worlds."

"They are nice." Carter said. Bahet smiled.

"I do have one gift for all of you." She said, then nodded to a Jaffa. He pulled an object out of his armor, walked down the ramp and handed it to Major Carter, then resumed his place. Carter examined the object, wrapped with gold ribbon and a bow.

"It's a PDA." She said.

"We have modified one of your computer devices to handle Goa'uld memory circuitry." Bahet said. "Encoded on that 'PDA' is a wealth of information on the weapons and tactics of several Goa'uld, including Apophis, Cronus, Osiris and Sia."

SG-1 looked down at the device while Carter tightened her grip on it, afraid she might be dreaming. Finally she looked up at Bahet. "Thank you." She said, smiling wide.

Bahet bowed her head. "I will take my leave of you now, so that you may consider my offer of support." She turned toward the Stargate, but a moment before she could touch the controller on her wrist, she turned back. "There is something else I'd like to do." She said.

She reached under her belt and pulled something from under it. It looked like a cutting from some sort of plant. There were red berries on it. Bahet came close to the Humans and asked: "This is mistletoe, is it not?"

"Yes it is." O'Neill said, and before he could make a move Bahet raised it above his head and kissed him on the lips.

"Reluctant, but I understand." She said, then did the same to Jackson, then Teal'c.

"Interesting. I've never kissed a Jaffa before." With that she moved on, catching Major Davis on the cheek and planting a soft peck on the top of General Hammond's balding head.

"I couldn't resist." She said to him with a big grin.

They thought she'd stop there, which was why Major Carter's eyes bugged out when she found the sprig hovering over her head and Bahet's lips on her cheek, and why Dr. Frazier's bugged out wider when she found herself in a split-second lip-lock with the Goa'uld. "You have lovely hair." The alien commented to the Doctor.

When she was done, Bahet put her mistletoe away and waved her Jaffa off the ramp. They moved to the bottom and knelt down so that they wouldn't be caught when the wormhole opened. Bahet touched the controller, and the Stargate boomed open.

"The coordinates to my homeworld are on the PDA." She said to the SGC personnel as her Jaffa went through the 'Gate. "This has been enjoyable. I look forward to doing it again next year. Merry Christmas, Tau'Ri." With that, she walked up the ramp and through the 'Gate.

SG-1 and their colleagues just stared at the 'Gate long after it closed, unsure of what to say. O'Neill broke the silence. "Okay...wow!" He said.

"Ditto." Jackson said. "Well...at least she didn't try to kill us."

"Or take over the SGC." Teal'c said.

"Or enslave all the men." Frazier said.

"Well, do we go, General?" Carter said.

"If she's legitimate," Hammond began, "it would be too good an opportunity...wait a minute. Did she say she was going to do this again next year??"

"I believe she implied that, sir." Davis said.

"How the hell are we supposed to explain what happened _this_ year???"

"Have to rewrite 'Twas the Night Before Christmas'..." Jackson said.

"Some other time." O'Neill said. "Right now, I got a bunch of egg nog going to waste at home. Who wants to join me?"

"I'll go." Jackson said.

"I will accompany you as well, O'Neill." Teal'c said.

"Me, too." Carter said, and as one SG-1 left the 'Gate Room.

A minute later, Hammond said: "Ah, what the hell. It's Christmas." He then followed them out, with Davis and Frazier in tow.


End file.
